Dear Man: An open letter from a woman who might actually love you

Dear Man,

I like you.  Actually, maybe I might even love you.  I like the way it feels when you hold my hand and tell me what you think of me, even when it’s nothing that special.  I just like that you think of me at all.  I’d never tell you this, but sometimes I try on your last name and imagine what it would be like if we were to take that next step.  I am not an object, but still it feels good when you show me off or fawn over my prettiness.

What I don’t like is what you think of me.  I don’t like that you think that when you enter me that you take a part of me; you don’t.  In fact, quite the contrary.  You leave traces of you, but I am gone.  I can even take your DNA and make a new you, but when you leave me, you take nothing with you.  I am gone, and maybe that scares you, but it’s good to be scared sometimes.  If the moon is in the right place, no matter how far you go I might could have half of you.  You would have maybe a lock of hair from a love letter, a relic, that thing I gave you that one time, but not one thing that would grow, and not one that could love you back.  Or maybe you could stay because I don’t want you to go, it’s nice together. I just want you to realize that if you decide to leave, you didn’t conquer me, you didn’t have me.  I’m exactly the same, except maybe a little wiser.

I want to know what it is that you think you are taking from me when you have sex with me?  My pride?  No, I don’t give you that.  In fact, I enjoy myself too.  You can’t garnish parts of me by having sex with me; just because it feels like you’re gaining something, don’t think I feel loss.  A candle loses no flame by igniting another.

Also, I don’t like the words you call me when I conquer things.  Does it intimidate you when you notice that I have power, too?  It’s ok to be scared, but don’t be afraid of my strength.  It’s different than yours, I know, sometimes I can do things you can’t, but really,  I didn’t mean to undermine you.  I really like you, I might even love you.  I want you to feel good, not intimidated by me.  In fact, I want my strength to empower you, just like yours does to me.  I really do feel much safer when you’re here.

But baby please stop.  Please stop imagining that I am a thing to be consumed.  I’m not.  I want  to be next to you, not on top or on bottom.

We have something really special, you know.  Together things really come together.  When I use my spiral mind to dream the dots I’d use your linearity to connect, I know our power is limitless.  But you can’t have me.  You just have to be here next to me, and I promise not to leave.



All words and images by Chelsea Nyegaard.

Model: Mackenzie Rae

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